An Examined Life

We spend so much of our lives connected these days. Banking, shopping, emails, social media, photographs, and now conversations with AI. Most of us have developed habits along the way, and some of those habits could probably do with a little attention.

So, here's my little cyber safety checklist. Nothing too technical, I promise!

10 Little Things Worth Remembering

1. Use strong, unique passwords. Your dog's name followed by 123 might be easy to remember, but it's probably time to retire it. A password manager can help.

2. Turn on multi-factor authentication. That extra security step can make a big difference, especially for your email and banking accounts.

3. Think before clicking. Unexpected links in emails and text messages deserve a second look, even when they appear to come from someone familiar.

4. Keep your devices updated. Those annoying update notifications usually have a good reason for appearing.

5. Be careful what you share with AI. AI can be wonderfully useful, but passwords, banking details and other sensitive personal information should stay out of everyday AI conversations.

6. Check before paying. If an invoice or message suddenly changes someone's banking details, verify them using a phone number you already trust.

7. Watch out for urgency. Scammers love phrases like "Act immediately!" and "Your account will be suspended!" A little breathing room can save a lot of trouble.

8. Review your privacy settings. Social media accounts and apps may be sharing more information than you realise.

9. Back up what matters. Family photographs, important documents and years of writing deserve a safe second home.

10. Trust your instincts, then verify. If something feels suspicious, check it independently. Even convincing messages, voices and images can be faked.

One Last Thought

We don't need to be technology experts to develop safer online habits. We just need to remain curious, ask questions and take a few extra seconds before handing over information or clicking that tempting link.

And if you've ever received a message telling you that you've won a competition you never entered, congratulations! You've already encountered one of the internet's less charming personalities.

For more practical Australian advice, visit the Australian Cyber Security Centre.

Stay curious, stay connected and stay a little cyber-savvy.

Namaste

Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

There are days when even the idea of meditation sounds like another thing I’m supposed to be doing properly.

Sit somewhere quiet. Breathe correctly. Clear the mind. Find inner peace.

Meanwhile, my mind has remembered something embarrassing I said in 1997, started planning dinner, wandered off to something I need to do tomorrow and decided now would be an excellent time to contemplate the meaning of consciousness.

Very peaceful.

That’s one reason I’ve come to like short guided meditations. There’s nothing much to work out. Someone else provides the words and, for a few minutes, I can stop being responsible for directing the traffic in my own head.

I’ve been building a small collection of meditation audios here on Deb Eternal for exactly that sort of moment. They’re there when you want a little quiet, a reset, or just a few minutes away from whatever your brain has decided deserves its full attention.

You don’t have to become particularly good at meditation. I’m fairly sure there isn’t a medal.

Sometimes pressing play is enough.

Listen to the Deb Eternal meditation audios →

Namaste
Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

I sometimes wonder why I write so much.

Some days it is an escape from the world. Other days, I think I am just trying to stop boredom from getting too comfortable. I have always had a mind that likes to wander. There are usually a million thoughts rattling around in there at once - things I have read, something someone said, an odd question that appeared from nowhere, or an idea that refuses to leave until I do something with it.

Writing gives those thoughts somewhere to go.

These days, I also have AI to throw them at. I can ask a strange question, argue with an idea, look at something from another angle, or take one of those half-formed thoughts and work out what I actually think about it. Sometimes that becomes a blog post. Sometimes it becomes a page in a book. And sometimes it goes absolutely nowhere, which is perfectly fine too.

There is something rather wonderful about living at a time when curiosity has so few barriers. I can sit at home with a cup of tea, follow a thought wherever it leads, learn something completely unexpected and then write about it before I forget what started the whole thing.

We really do live in a golden age for curious minds.

And with a mind like mine, it is probably just as well I have somewhere to put everything.

Namaste
Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

Today I have somewhere rather special to be.

It’s Grandparents Day at school.

I love these days. There is something about sitting in the audience waiting for the littlies to appear on stage that gets me every single time.

Then I see them.

My heart skips a beat, the tears start to well, and I bite my lip while resisting the urge to stand up and applaud far too loudly, just so they can spot me in the audience and know that Nan is there.

I've come very close to doing exactly that over the years.

And yes, I wave... like crazy!

Afterwards comes another favourite part — being taken into their classroom to see their artwork and everything they have been making and learning. They are so excited to show me their little world, and I cannot wait to hug them tight.

There is such joy in being a grandparent. We have already watched our own children grow, so we know just how quickly these years pass. Maybe that's why the tears come so easily.

Whether I am with my grandchildren watching them perform, admiring a drawing, or being delighted by their latest creation, those moments are special to me. And they don't always have to happen in person. A phone call, a video call, a story shared from somewhere else — they matter too.

There are so many ways to be part of their lives, and I treasure them all.

A Thought to Take With You

One of the great joys of growing older is getting to watch childhood all over again — from the grandparent seats, the sidelines, and everywhere in between.

Namaste 

Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

A cooler morning, warm jacket and UGG boots on, and a mind that doesn’t seem quite sure where it wants to be.

It’s noticeably cooler today after the warmer weather of the last few days, and perhaps that change has made me notice something else. Some days our minds just don’t seem to be firing quite as neatly as we’d like.

Focus wanders. Thoughts get interrupted. You go to do something and, somewhere between thinking about it and actually doing it, the thought disappears.

What was I doing again?

It made me wonder whether some of what we call forgetfulness is really a lack of focus. Perhaps we haven’t forgotten at all. Maybe our minds were already three thoughts ahead and never properly tucked the first one away.

There could be a hundred reasons for feeling a little out of sorts, and perhaps we don’t always need to find one.

Today, I think I’ll blame the change in weather, pull the UGG boots on, wrap the warm jacket a little tighter and give my wandering mind permission to wander.

Although it would be helpful if it remembered where it put things.

A Thought to Take With You

Perhaps not every forgotten thought is lost. Some simply didn't get enough of our attention to stay.

Namaste 

Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

It's a clear and sunshiny day, although a little on the cool side after yesterday’s warm and windy day. One of those mornings that feels fresh and uncomplicated — until something you hear gives you reason to stop and think.

I was listening to the radio this morning when I heard about a young Hunter nurse sentenced to a two-year jail term that is expected to be served in the community after violence against elderly people with dementia who had been entrusted to her care.

Two years.

I found myself genuinely appalled — and when I later read more about the individual incidents behind the charges, that feeling only grew.

I won't recount those details here. They are available for anyone who wishes to read the reporting for themselves. For me, it was enough to wonder how such treatment of people so vulnerable could result in a sentence like this.

I know a radio story cannot give me everything a judge heard in court, and sentencing involves considerations far beyond a headline. Still, based on what was reported, I struggle with how two years can adequately reflect violence against people who were particularly vulnerable and dependent upon others for their safety.

Perhaps that's what troubles me most. 

There are positions in life where trust carries an enormous responsibility, and caring for someone who cannot easily defend themselves must surely be one of them.

It also made me wonder what our sentences say about how seriously we value and protect people as we grow older.

A Thought to Take With You

Growing older should never mean becoming less worthy of protection, dignity or justice.

Namaste 

Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning. 

This morning, coffee beside me as usual, I started reading Sophie’s World by Jostein Gaarder.

I haven't travelled very far into it yet. Just those first few pages. But already I can see why this book has endured.

It asks us to think about things we rarely stop to think about.

Who are we? Why are we here? And perhaps more importantly, when did we stop wondering about it?

Children seem naturally good at this. They ask why about everything. Why is the sky blue? Where was I before I was born? How big is forever? Why do people die? Who decided what words mean?

Then somewhere along the way, most of us become accustomed to everything.

We wake up. Make coffee. Go to work. Pay bills. Complain about traffic. Decide what we're having for dinner.

Meanwhile, we're living on a planet spinning through an enormous universe, conscious of the fact that we exist — and somehow that's the part we've come to consider ordinary.

I find that rather funny when I think about it.

Perhaps philosophy isn't always about finding complicated answers. Maybe sometimes it's simply about remembering to be surprised by the questions.

I've only just started Sophie’s World, so I'm interested to see where it takes me. But if a book can make you stop after only a few pages and look at something familiar a little differently, I'd say it's already doing its job.

A Thought to Take With You

When was the last time you questioned something you've simply accepted as ordinary?

Namaste
Deb xx

Find more info about the book Sophie's World in Deb Eternal's Book Library at the top of this page.

This morning began, as most of my mornings do, with coffee and something to read.

There's something about those first quiet moments of the day that seems to make room for thoughts that get pushed aside once life properly gets going.

And this morning I found myself thinking that hindsight is a marvellous thing.

We say it so casually. If only I'd known then what I know now. If only I'd made the other choice. Said yes. Said no. Stayed. Left. Asked the question. Kept my mouth shut.

But that's the trick of hindsight, isn't it?

We're judging the person we were with the knowledge of the person we've become.

Last night I was watching The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, a film filled with wonderful little observations about ageing, love, disappointment and starting again.

One thought in particular stayed with me: no amount of longing can bring back the past.

Perhaps that's what hindsight eventually has to teach us.

We can look backwards. We can understand things differently. We can even wish we'd done things differently. But we can't walk back into yesterday armed with everything today has taught us.

And perhaps we shouldn't want to.

The person who made those decisions back then hadn't lived what came next. They didn't know yet.

Today I do.

Tomorrow, perhaps, I'll know a little more.

Namaste

Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

I’ve realised lately that I can go quite a while without contacting people.

There’s no grand reason for it. Life is just very full in a wonderfully ordinary way.

I work full-time. One of my two days off will often involve taking Mum out for lunch or shopping, which sounds like a couple of hours until you actually do it. By the time I get myself organised, pick her up, we go wherever we're going, have a wander, have lunch and solve at least three of the world's problems along the way, there goes the day.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Then there are books to read, things to write, ideas to create and whatever subject has caught my attention and sent me wandering off to investigate it. I potter around with my website, listen to things, learn things and generally keep myself remarkably entertained.

It turns out I’m very good at filling my own time.

So this is really just a little wave to my family and friends.

I’m still here.

I still love you.

I still want to know what’s happening in your lives.

I’m just not always picking up my phone and thinking, I haven't spoken to so-and-so lately. I should message them.

Sometimes several days wander past while I’ve been working, reading, writing, creating or happily absorbed in something that has caught my attention.

I’ve also become much better at remembering that other people are doing exactly the same thing.

There was a time when I could send someone a message and, if they didn’t reply fairly quickly, start wondering whether I’d said something wrong. These days I’m far more likely to think, They’re probably busy. They’ll get back to me when they can.

Look at me, developing patience.

Of course, if we wander much beyond 24 hours, I reserve the right to conduct a gentle welfare check.

Progress has its limits.

That doesn’t mean I want anyone I love to hesitate about contacting me. Quite the opposite. If you want to talk, call me. If you need something, text me. If something wonderful has happened, tell me. If something awful has happened, definitely tell me.

You don’t need to wait for me to check in first.

I’m here.

I may just be at work, out with Mum, reading a book, writing something, creating something, or investigating a question nobody asked me to investigate.

Life seems to have become quietly, pleasantly full.

So if you haven't heard from me for a little while, I'm probably somewhere happily minding my own business.

And doing a surprisingly good job of it. 😂

Namaste
Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

Every year, we do this. Somebody moves the clocks forward by an hour, and apparently that settles the matter. The microwave knows. The phone knows. The television knows. Even the car eventually gets told.

My body, however, has rejected the update.

The clock says it is time to get up. My body insists it is an hour earlier and would like to know who authorised this change without consultation.

I understand the concept of daylight saving. We move an hour of daylight from one end of the day to the other and carry on as though time itself has been successfully reorganised. Very clever.

Except nobody seems to have informed the internal clock that has spent months deciding when I should feel hungry, sleepy, awake or ready for coffee.

So here I am, several days later, still waking an hour later according to the newly appointed official time, while technically waking at exactly the same time, according to me.

And really, I think my body has the stronger argument.

There is something wonderfully absurd about millions of people changing every clock they own and then spending the next week wondering why they feel slightly out of step with their own lives.

Eventually, of course, I’ll adjust.

I’ll wake at the “right” time again. Meals will feel appropriately timed. The morning will stop feeling as though somebody started it without me.

And just when the whole arrangement feels completely normal, somebody will eventually move the clocks back.

Apparently, we enjoy this.

Namaste
Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

It’s a beautiful afternoon, and I’m wage working with one eye on the clock because the NRL Grand Final is coming up later.

Well, “watching” might be generous. It’ll probably be playing in the background while I continue tapping away at work, listening closely enough to know when something exciting happens and looking up when the commentary suddenly gets louder.

It’s the Knights versus the Roosters, and living closer to Knights territory, there’s really only one team I can cheer for. The Knights have my completely unofficial and largely unhelpful support.

I love afternoons like this. Sunshine outside, work getting done, footy in the background, and absolutely no need to turn any of it into something profound.

Although a Knights win would improve the afternoon considerably.

Go the Knights! 😄

Namaste
Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

I’ve been thinking about how often we feel we should finish what we start — especially books, courses, or something new we’ve decided to learn.

There seems to be an unwritten rule that if you open a book, you should reach the last page. If you become curious about philosophy, history, gardening, astronomy or anything else, you should somehow learn the subject properly.

But why?

Sometimes I’ll pick up a book and find one idea that makes me stop. I’ll think about it, perhaps wander off and research something it mentioned, and suddenly the book has already given me something worthwhile. I may eventually return to it. I may not.

The same happens when I become curious about a new subject. I don't necessarily need to become knowledgeable in all of it. Perhaps I only wanted the answer to one question.

And sometimes, of course, I begin reading or researching something and realise quite quickly that it simply isn't for me.

That doesn't make the time wasted.

Curiosity isn't always asking us to finish something. Sometimes it is simply leading us towards the little piece we needed to find.

A Thought to Take With You

You don't have to finish every book, master every subject, or follow every curiosity to its end. 

Sometimes knowing when you've taken what you need from a reading, is part of learning too.

Namaste 

Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

Today is Father’s Day in Australia. It’s a beautiful day outside, and while I’m supposed to be concentrating on wage work, my thoughts have wandered instead to families, fathers, sons, grandchildren and all the complicated little threads that somehow tie us together.

Some of those threads are beautifully neat.

Others resemble the back of one of my craft projects.

And today, rather than pulling at the tangled ones, I have decided to leave them alone.

Because perhaps we don't celebrate enough.

We tend to save celebration for the obvious things — birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, Christmas, graduations and those wonderful occasions when someone brings out a cake large enough to justify having a second piece.

But life is filled with smaller things worth celebrating too.

A beautiful morning. A good cup of coffee. A conversation that makes you laugh. A grandchild doing something ridiculous. A flower appearing in the garden when you had completely forgotten planting it. Finishing something you have been putting off. Beginning something you've been dreaming about.

And sometimes the celebration is a little louder — like watching a grandchild and his footy team win their grand final. Those are the moments worth making a fuss about. The excitement, the proud faces and the knowledge that all those training sessions and weekends on the sidelines led to one very happy memory. That's worth celebrating.

Even simply reaching another Sunday.

Celebration doesn't have to mean everything in life is perfect.

I think that is something I sometimes forget.

There can be things we wish were different, and people we wish would find their way back to one another. There can be situations we cannot fix, no matter how much we would like to gather everyone together, sit them around a table and tell them to sort themselves out.

Tempting though that may be.

But those things don't cancel out everything that is good.

So today I am choosing to notice the good things.

The people I love. The people who love me. The memories that still make me smile. The things I am creating. The ideas still rattling around inside my head waiting for their turn.

And the rather lovely fact that life continues to give us reasons to celebrate, even on days when our hearts feel a little more tender than usual.

A Thought to Take With You

You don't have to wait until everything is right before allowing yourself to celebrate what already is.

Maybe today deserves a tiny celebration of its own.

Make the coffee. Eat the cake. Play the music too loudly. Laugh when you can.

And leave the tangled threads alone for another day.

Namaste 

Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

Spring has arrived, and apparently that means my mind has already started making plans for the garden.

Today is quite warm here in NSW, warm enough to finally shed a few of those winter layers, but the strong gusts of wind aren't exactly inviting me outside. For once, wage work may actually be saving me from myself. Had it been a calm, sunny day, I'm fairly certain my thoughts would be somewhere amongst the garden beds rather than where they're supposed to be.

Still, I've started wondering what I might do in the garden this week. What needs pruning? What survived winter? What could be planted now? And, inevitably, what little project will I discover that wasn't on the list at all?

That's one of the things I love about spring. The garden begins waking up, but perhaps something in us does too. There is an urge to open windows, clear things away, wander outside and see what might grow.

A Thought to Take With You

Perhaps spring isn't asking us to completely reinvent anything. Maybe it's simply inviting us to notice what is ready to grow.

Namaste 

Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.

Coffee beside me and something to read. It's such a familiar way to begin my day that I rarely give it much thought. But this morning I did.

Last night I was still thinking about The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. There is so much in that film about getting older and what happens when the life that once kept you busy begins to change.

And it occurred to me that I don't think I'll ever have nothing to do.

Not because I'll always have jobs waiting. I'm quite sure there will always be washing somewhere, although that's hardly the sort of future I'm talking about.

It's because I write.

Writing has done something rather unexpected to the way I look at ordinary life. The more I write, the more things I notice to write about.

A sentence in a book can do it. A line in a movie. Something somebody says. Something they don't say. An old memory that suddenly turns up for no apparent reason. Even sitting here watching the rain while the sun attempts to break through it has me thinking about something.

Perhaps that's one of the gifts of having something you're genuinely interested in.

We talk a lot about keeping busy as we grow older. Find a hobby. Join something. Keep yourself occupied. All sensible advice, I'm sure.

But I don't particularly want to spend my later years merely keeping myself occupied.

I want to remain interested.

There is a difference.

There are books I haven't read yet. Things I know almost nothing about. 

Questions I've never thought to ask. Ideas I haven't encountered. And probably hundreds of little observations that will arrive while I'm doing something completely unrelated.

Some of them might become proper pieces of writing. Some might become one of these little thoughts.

And plenty will probably disappear before I remember to write them down.

That's okay too.

Maybe purpose doesn't always have to be something enormous. Sometimes it might simply be having something that makes you curious about tomorrow.

A Thought to Take With You

What is the thing in your life that you can't imagine ever running out of interest in?

Namaste
Deb xx

Thoughtful writing across life, mind, and meaning.